Hiding from God
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My exams on Wednesday and Friday
had not gone as planned both of them left me feeling like I did not read
enough, I felt like a failure and had no interest in showing my face to God at the thanksgivings done
after every exam in chapel. Nevertheless, my course mate motivated me to attend
the thanksgiving towards the end on Friday. As I sat talking to God during
worship. I realized something about myself.
I am the kind that when I fail, my
first instinct is to hide, work hard get a better result before showing myself
again. When I did not do so well in my exam on Wednesday, my instinct was to
work hard and do better in the next exam before talking to God again. As if, I
was trying to prove that my better performance made me worthy to ask for his
help in the previous and next exam (angels should make the lecturer favour my
papers, since that’s my last resort). And I realized that if truly I was God’s
child and representative, I am meant to report to him after each exam whether it
was bad or good. Tell him where I made mistakes and thank him for the ones I
could remember.
When I realized this, I turned
and told God
“Your girl messed up, I got angry
and became disorganized in the first paper and messed up the formulas in the
second one. Please cause my lecture to favour me, you hold the hearts of kings
in your hands”
I believe God was just waiting
for me to admit that I needed his help again. I really want to apply this when
things do not go as planned in other aspects of my life.
Thanks for reading friends,you guys are dear to my heart.
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